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2013–2018 · 6 seasons · 0 up / 0 down

Samuel Chalk

“The Machine”

Wins ugly, wins often, wins again.

Teams: He Giveth Then He Taketh Away · Hold onto that Theilen · More than a Thielen · Somewhere over the Dwayne Bowe · Thomas The Tankerengine

Scouting report

Career line: 49-32. Career honours: a firm handshake and a group chat mute.

1 vetoed trade: caught trying it on, publicly.

Luck +6.86: the schedule did the heavy lifting, he took the credit.

Still hasn't explained 2015, when Antonio Gates (TE); Jeremy Hill (RB) went out the door to Shannon Hatch for Martellus Bennett (TE); Andy Dalton (QB).

Jesse Robertson exists mainly to pad the record: 8-3.

Gavin de Wit owns him 5-4. That's not a rivalry, that's a subscription.

Auto-generated from real numbers. Take it up with the spreadsheet.

Titles
0
Record
49-32
Win %
60%
PPG
182.0
Playoffs
6-7
Luck
+6.86
Trades
23

Trophy cabinet & rap sheet

2 earned · 12 still out of reach.

☠ Glass Cannon

Big points, no trophy

☠ Veto Victim

1 trade struck down

🔒 Ring Owner

0 titles

🔒 Dynasty

Three or more titles

🔒 Bridesmaid

Runner-up, never champion

🔒 Yo-Yo

0 tier moves — joint most in the league

🔒 Trapdoor Specialist

0 relegations

🔒 Basement Dweller

0 wooden spoons

🔒 Trade Addict

23 trades — league leader

🔒 The Ghost

Career-low waiver activity

🔒 Unluckiest

Luck rating 6.86

🔒 Ironman

6 straight seasons

🔒 One-Hit Wonder

Exactly one title, nothing else on the podium

🔒 Only Way Is Up

Promoted without ever being relegated

Nemesis & bunny

Nemesis

Gavin de Wit

4–5 in 9 meetings

Bunny

Jesse Robertson

8–3 in 11 meetings

Career shape

The climb

Tier by season

Higher is a higher tier — promotions up, relegations down.

Points per game

You vs the league

Gold is this manager; teal is the league average that season.

Wins by season

Regular season

Gold wins, muted losses.

Season by season

  1. 2018Hold onto that TheilenPremiership T111-2 · 2,207 pts · finished 88
  2. 2017More than a ThielenPremiership T16-7 · 2,135 pts · finished 44
  3. 2016Somewhere over the Dwayne BowePremiership T18-5 · 2,374 pts · Third3
  4. 2015Thomas The TankerenginePremiership T16-8 · 2,405 pts · finished 1010
  5. 2014He Giveth Then He Taketh AwayPremiership T18-6 · 2,502 pts · finished 55
  6. 2013He Giveth Then He Taketh AwayPremiership T110-4 · 3,122 pts · Third3

Honours

Trade ledger, graded

Grades come from asset volume, premium positions and how the season actually went afterwards. Entirely unofficial, completely binding.

Hall of shame — worst deal

D

2015 with Shannon Hatch

Gave Antonio Gates (TE); Jeremy Hill (RB) · Got Martellus Bennett (TE); Andy Dalton (QB)

Rough. Very rough.

Best bit of business

A-

2017 with Andreas Cooper

Gave Cameron Jordan (DL) · Got Robby Anderson (WR)

Won it comfortably.

  1. C2018 Premiership · W13 · with Andreas CooperGot Melvin Gordon (RB); Michael Thomas (WR) · Gave Todd Gurley (RB)Nothing happened.
  2. B2017 Premiership · W5 · with Gavin de WitGot Alex Collins (RB); Cooper Kupp (WR) · Gave Marvin Jones (WR)Solid bit of business.
  3. A-2017 Premiership · W9 · with Andreas CooperGot Robby Anderson (WR) · Gave Cameron Jordan (DL)Won it comfortably.
  4. A-2016 Premiership · W6 · with Jeremy BorlandGot Doug Baldwin (WR); Carlos Hyde (RB) · Gave Mike Wallace (WR); Jarvis Landry (WR); Todd Gurley (RB)Won it comfortably.
  5. B2016 Premiership · W11 · with Gavin de WitGot Kenneth Dixon (RB) · Gave Julian Edelman (WR)Solid bit of business.
  6. A-2016 Premiership · W3 · with Jeremy BorlandGot Julian Edelman (WR) · Gave Chris Ivory (RB)Won it comfortably.
  7. D2015 Premiership · W7 · with Shannon HatchGot Martellus Bennett (TE); Andy Dalton (QB) · Gave Antonio Gates (TE); Jeremy Hill (RB)Rough. Very rough.
  8. B-2015 Premiership · W1 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Danny Woodhead (RB); Clay Matthews (LB) · Gave Justin Houston (LB)Marginal win.
  9. —2015 Premiership · with Jesse RobertsonGot Steve Johnson (WR); Lamar Miller (RB) · Gave Chris Johnson (RB)Vetoed by the commissioner. Shameful.
  10. B-2014 Premiership · W9 · with Shannon HatchGot Andrew Hawkins (WR) · Gave Jonathan Stewart (RB)Marginal win.
  11. B-2014 Premiership · W9 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Drew Brees (QB); Chris Ivory (RB) · Gave Joe Flacco (QB); Aaron Rodgers (QB)Marginal win.
  12. D2014 Premiership · W2 · with Andreas CooperGot Andre Williams (RB) · Gave James Starks (RB)Rough. Very rough.
  13. A-2013 Premiership · W6 · with Shannon HatchGot DeAngelo Williams (RB) · Gave Duke Ihenacho (DB)Won it comfortably.
  14. C-2013 Premiership · W10 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Jordan Reed (TE); Draft Pick - 2014 Rd 29 · Gave Eric Decker (WR); Draft Pick - 2014 Rd 27Slightly fleeced.
  15. B2013 Premiership · W2 · with Andreas CooperGot Shane Vereen (RB) · Gave Miles Austin (WR)Solid bit of business.
  16. C2013 Premiership · W11 · with Ben KendrewGot Robert Griffin III (QB) · Gave Andy Dalton (QB); Andre Ellington (RB)Nothing happened.
  17. B-2013 Premiership · W15 · with Cameron RichardsonGot Philip Rivers (QB) · Gave Le'Veon Bell (RB)Marginal win.
  18. B-2013 Premiership · W3 · with Andreas CooperGot Matt Schaub (QB); Marlon Brown (WR) · Gave Eli Manning (QB)Marginal win.
  19. C-2013 Premiership · W3 · with Gavin de WitGot Barry Church (DB); James Jones (WR) · Gave Jason McCourty (DB); Jason Witten (TE)Slightly fleeced.
  20. C2013 Premiership · W3 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Stevan Ridley (RB) · Gave Marlon Brown (WR)Nothing happened.
  21. C-2013 Premiership · W3 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Kyle Rudolph (TE) · Gave Danny Amendola (WR)Slightly fleeced.
  22. C2013 Premiership · W1 · with Jesse RobertsonGot Frank Gore (RB) · Gave Owen Daniels (TE)Nothing happened.
  23. B-2013 Premiership · W4 · with Andreas CooperGot Andre Johnson (WR) · Gave DeAndre Hopkins (WR)Marginal win.

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