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2021–2025 · 5 seasons · 1 up / 0 down

Lloyd Phillips

“The Machine”

Wins ugly, wins often, wins again.

Teams: A Thousand Myles · Baby Got Dak · Wildcard, Bitches!!

Scouting report

A 42-28 career and not one piece of silverware in 5 attempts.

+8.87 luck. Beat every low score in the league and calls it management.

Finished stone last 1 time (2024). Somebody has to pay for the engraving.

Graded F: the 2024 swap with Jireh Ngaruhe. Some things you don't come back from.

Up 1 time, down never. Gravity clearly filed an exemption.

Auto-generated from real numbers. Take it up with the spreadsheet.

Titles
0
Record
42-28
Win %
60%
PPG
163.8
Playoffs
6-7
Luck
+8.87
Trades
12

Trophy cabinet & rap sheet

2 earned · 12 still out of reach.

☠ Glass Cannon

Big points, no trophy

🏆 Only Way Is Up

Promoted without ever being relegated

🔒 Ring Owner

0 titles

🔒 Dynasty

Three or more titles

🔒 Bridesmaid

Runner-up, never champion

🔒 Yo-Yo

1 tier moves — joint most in the league

🔒 Trapdoor Specialist

0 relegations

🔒 Basement Dweller

1 wooden spoon

🔒 Trade Addict

12 trades — league leader

🔒 The Ghost

Career-low waiver activity

🔒 Unluckiest

Luck rating 8.87

🔒 Ironman

5 straight seasons

🔒 One-Hit Wonder

Exactly one title, nothing else on the podium

🔒 Veto Victim

0 trades struck down

Nemesis & bunny

Career shape

The climb

Tier by season

Higher is a higher tier — promotions up, relegations down.

Points per game

You vs the league

Gold is this manager; teal is the league average that season.

Wins by season

Regular season

Gold wins, muted losses.

Season by season

  1. 2025Wildcard, Bitches!!Premiership T18-6 · 2,450 pts · finished 66
  2. 2024Baby Got DakPremiership T17-7 · 2,433 pts · finished 12 · wooden spoon12
  3. 2023Baby Got DakPremiership T17-7 · 2,246 pts · finished 1010
  4. 2022Baby Got Dak▲ promoted into Premiership T110-4 · 2,149 pts · finished 44
  5. 2021A Thousand MylesChampionship T210-4 · 2,184 pts · finished 44

Trade ledger, graded

Grades come from asset volume, premium positions and how the season actually went afterwards. Entirely unofficial, completely binding.

Hall of shame — worst deal

F

2024 with Jireh Ngaruhe

Gave Travis Kelce · Got Keenan Allen; Romeo Doubs

Hall of shame material.

Best bit of business

A-

2021 with Fraser Reid

Gave Latavius Murray (RB) · Got DeVonta Smith (WR)

Won it comfortably.

  1. B2025 Premiership · W8 · with Clarrence MolinyeweGot Marvin Harrison · Gave Kimani VidalSolid bit of business.
  2. F2024 Premiership · W1 · with Jireh NgaruheGot Keenan Allen; Romeo Doubs · Gave Travis KelceHall of shame material.
  3. C2023 Premiership · W1 · with John ParkerGot Jonathan Taylor; Tank Bigsby · Gave Stefon DiggsNothing happened.
  4. D2023 Premiership · W15 · with Jireh NgaruheGot Zamir White · Gave Brock PurdyRough. Very rough.
  5. B-2022 Premiership · W6 · with Sam RobertsonGot Brandin Cooks (WR); Travis Etienne (RB); George Pickens (WR) · Gave Curtis Samuel (WR); Najee Harris (RB)Marginal win.
  6. B2022 Premiership · W8 · with Jamie RobertsonGot Keenan Allen (WR); Raheem Mostert (RB) · Gave Aaron Jones (RB)Solid bit of business.
  7. B2022 Premiership · W10 · with Xander BarnardGot Deebo Samuel (WR); Antonio Gibson (RB) · Gave Dalvin Cook (RB); Michael Gallup (WR)Solid bit of business.
  8. A-2021 Championship · W6 · with Fraser ReidGot DeVonta Smith (WR) · Gave Latavius Murray (RB)Won it comfortably.
  9. B2021 Championship · W1 · with Silvan RoschGot Damien Harris (RB); Henry Ruggs III (WR) · Gave Jameis Winston (QB); Gus Edwards (RB)Solid bit of business.
  10. B-2021 Championship · W9 · with Shannon HatchGot Odell Beckham Jr. (WR) · Gave Zach Ertz (TE)Marginal win.
  11. B2021 Championship · W13 · with Jireh NgaruheGot Phillip Lindsay (RB) · Gave Tevin Coleman (RB)Solid bit of business.
  12. B2021 Championship · W4 · with Ewan McKenzieGot Calvin Ridley (WR) · Gave Damien Harris (RB); Henry Ruggs III (WR)Solid bit of business.

Head to head