2020–2025 · 6 seasons · 1 up / 1 down
John Parker
“The Choker”
Builds a great team, then finds a new way to lose with it.
Teams: barontaco · barontaco - JP · The Taco Barons
Scouting report
6 seasons of 44-39 football, all of it entirely unrewarded.
Has been relegated 1 time and promoted 1, which is less a career arc and more a sawtooth.
Made the final 2 times and found a fresh way to lose it each time.
One genuine masterstroke: 2022, Chris Seibt, Alex Highsmith (DL); Jaylen Waddle (WR) for nothing much.
Auto-generated from real numbers. Take it up with the spreadsheet.
- Titles
- 0
- Record
- 44-39
- Win %
- 53%
- PPG
- 164.9
- Playoffs
- 10-6
- Luck
- -0.09
- Trades
- 13
Trophy cabinet & rap sheet
2 earned · 12 still out of reach.
☠ Bridesmaid
Runner-up, never champion
☠ Glass Cannon
Big points, no trophy
🔒 Ring Owner
0 titles
🔒 Dynasty
Three or more titles
🔒 Yo-Yo
2 tier moves — joint most in the league
🔒 Trapdoor Specialist
1 relegation
🔒 Basement Dweller
0 wooden spoons
🔒 Trade Addict
13 trades — league leader
🔒 The Ghost
Career-low waiver activity
🔒 Unluckiest
Luck rating -0.09
🔒 Ironman
6 straight seasons
🔒 One-Hit Wonder
Exactly one title, nothing else on the podium
🔒 Only Way Is Up
Promoted without ever being relegated
🔒 Veto Victim
0 trades struck down
Nemesis & bunny
Career shape
The climb
Tier by seasonHigher is a higher tier — promotions up, relegations down.
Points per game
You vs the leagueGold is this manager; teal is the league average that season.
Wins by season
Regular seasonGold wins, muted losses.
Season by season
- 2025barontaco▲ promoted into Premiership T18-6 · 2,357 pts · finished 44
- 2024barontaco - JP▼ relegated into Championship T211-3 · 2,837 pts · Runner-up2
- 2023barontacoPremiership T15-9 · 2,397 pts · finished 88
- 2022The Taco BaronsChampionship T210-4 · 2,365 pts · Runner-up2
- 2021The Taco BaronsChampionship T28-6 · 2,120 pts · Third3
- 2020The Taco BaronsChampionship T22-11 · 1,609 pts · finished 99
Honours
2024 Championship
Runner-up
2022 Championship
Runner-up
2021 Championship
Third
Trade ledger, graded
Grades come from asset volume, premium positions and how the season actually went afterwards. Entirely unofficial, completely binding.
Hall of shame — worst deal
C-
2022 with Silvan Rosch
Gave Deshaun Watson (QB); Damien Harris (RB); Nick Bosa (DL) · Got Cameron Heyward (DL); Jamaal Williams (RB)
Slightly fleeced.
Best bit of business
A
2022 with Chris Seibt
Gave Mike Evans (WR); Justin Fields (QB) · Got Alex Highsmith (DL); Jaylen Waddle (WR)
Highway robbery.
- A-2025 Premiership · W9 · with Xander BarnardGot Josh Allen · Gave Zay FlowersWon it comfortably.
- C-2025 Premiership · W11 · with Gavin de WitGot Talanoa Hufanga; Jayden Higgins · Gave David MontgomerySlightly fleeced.
- B2024 Championship · W1 · with Jeremy BorlandGot Davante Adams · Gave Ezekiel Elliott; Gus EdwardsSolid bit of business.
- A-2024 Championship · W3 · with Jeremy BorlandGot Tyrel Dodson; Ja'Marr Chase · Gave Alvin Kamara; David LongWon it comfortably.
- B2024 Championship · W5 · with Chris SeibtGot Brandon Aiyuk; Brian Branch · Gave Travis Kelce; Bucky IrvingSolid bit of business.
- C2023 Premiership · W1 · with Lloyd PhillipsGot Stefon Diggs · Gave Jonathan Taylor; Tank BigsbyNothing happened.
- B-2023 Premiership · W2 · with Silvan RoschGot James Cook; Garrett Wilson · Gave Jessie Bates; Christian Watson; Jaylen WarrenMarginal win.
- C-2022 Championship · W11 · with Silvan RoschGot Cameron Heyward (DL); Jamaal Williams (RB) · Gave Deshaun Watson (QB); Damien Harris (RB); Nick Bosa (DL)Slightly fleeced.
- A2022 Championship · W11 · with Chris SeibtGot Alex Highsmith (DL); Jaylen Waddle (WR) · Gave Mike Evans (WR); Justin Fields (QB)Highway robbery.
- B2022 Championship · W11 · with Simon BarnesGot David Njoku (TE); Ja'Marr Chase (WR) · Gave Chris Godwin (WR); Jamaal Williams (RB)Solid bit of business.
- B-2022 Championship · W16 · with Silvan RoschGot Frankie Luvu (LB); Damien Harris (RB) · Gave Deion Jones (LB); Zay Jones (WR)Marginal win.
- B-2022 Championship · W2 · with Xander BarnardGot Marquez Valdes-Scantling (WR) · Gave Rachaad White (RB)Marginal win.
- B2021 Championship · W7 · with Silvan RoschGot Chase Claypool (WR) · Gave Rhamondre Stevenson (RB); Rondale Moore (WR)Solid bit of business.